How do you spell Mineapolis: Wherin WEEEEEEED

The Water park of America is way too expensive for broke ass touring bands such as RED STiNGER.  So if you need to take a shower Lake Calhoun is a nice alternative.  People look at you funny when you lather up and bathe in the public swimming area, but dammit we need to be clean.

The Hexagon bar offered us our first most awesome show.  We borrowed horn players from Drunk History and rocked the ska song with furious rockability.  The people rocked so hard Fred actually pooped a little in his pants.

The skamp trailor is a champion of awesomeness.  Driving down the highway, windows open, feeling the breeze in your hair are total perks and wonderful memories that none of us will ever forget.  However, if you close all the windows, shut and lock the door, and then light up 12 joints all at once the skamp trailor will give you wonderful memories that you will not remember.

Vinyl Rock: Wherein Kurt tells you whats up

DON'T LET FEAR CONTROL YOUR DESTINY. LIVE NOW AND BE FREE. 

DON'T FEAR THE UNKNOWN. DIVE IN AND LICK IT UP.

RED STINGER STYLE...

The Last Few Days: Wherein we lose everything

Riddle: Name the eleven things in the next statement that have gone missing since leaving Denver:

"Hey call Kurts phone, I need to get the trailor Keys from Fred so I can get my shoes, phone, wallet, pants, bottle of Calypso Spiced Rum, my underwear, my hat, and the cash box that had all our gas money in it."

(Answer: 1.Kurts phone 2. Trailor Keys 3. Shoes 4. Phone 5.Wallet 6.Pants 7.Bottle of Rum 8.Underwear 9. My Hat 10. Cash Box 11. Fred)

So much has happened the rest of the show blogs will be posted later.  Right now I'm going to sleep

The Scamp

Our trusty steed on this tour is the Scamp trailer be borrowed from a far-to-trusting friend. It sleeps 3 comfortably, and 6 uncomfortably. This beautiful beast is our home, our kitchen, our changing room, and if need be...our backstage. All hail the mighty scamp!

Thank you Kevin Luby, my favorite Hasselhof impersonator.

Summit Splash Waterpark

Overall Summit Splash Waterpark was a success.  Very friendly staff.  Was greeted promptly and given the "band" discount.  Always appreciated.  First thing we did was head straight to the Lazy River.  If a water park doesn't offer you the ability to be lazy then its not worth much.  After three laps of laziness we headed straight for the RED slide.  The pitch blackness of the slide was an unexpected perk.  50 mph down twists and turns in pitch black definitely help you fear for your life.  The Tube Slide was also pretty sweet. Enclosed slides don't usually allow tubes but this one did and it was super fun to giggle and scream all the way to the bottom.  Overall the lifeguard staff looked pretty much legal age limit so there weren't too many creepy uncle moments.  Fred made the biggest splash off the diving board (because he's fat).  Dave won for worst divingboardability.  The most important part of the whole swimming park is of course the shower, which was nice and warm and felt like getting peed on by a large giant.  I saw Zaks fruit basket and was thourghouly disgusted.

Overall Park Rating: A-
Staff Hotness- B+
Shower- B
Zaks Fruit Basket: D-

Random Thoughts From Fred

y ded six get afraid of sevn?

bc four in the five and six

(said while sleeping)

Des Moines: Wherein Timmy can't remember an entire day

Well I think we woke up.  And then... ummm, Water Park? and, I think we did an interview.  Yea yea we did that.  And then I saw Jon and Ben from Thank You Donny and after that well shit I cant remember anything, someone else write something.

OK, here's that guy.  We did in fact do a very hilariously stupid interview and photo-shoot for Iowa Music Buzz Magazine.  Hopefully they have employed some talented editors...  Our venue was a very cool NYC style punk club called Vaudeville Mews, the bartenders were very gracious and quite generous with portion size, hence Tim's "time-travelling."  Despite the difficulties playing with a marionette as a frontman, consentual rock love was made.

Lee Summit Mizzouri: Wherin We Unintentionally Get Some Children Drunk

Oh Lee Summit. You sexy bitch of a town.  Wish we could do this all the time.  I love your pizza, and your fish is gigantic.  This is how romance should begin.  Wait... what do you mean you cant find Chewy?  He's an hour away with two random strange gentlemen?  AND HE TOOK THE WHISKEY?  Damn it Lee Summit, we were so close to love.  Now I have to leave your beautiful landscape and trek to a less attractive college town where,  wait... what... you love me?  Its too soon... I'm sorry this must be goodbye...

Denver: Wherein Boobs Were Seen

Shotgun Willies is a gentlemans club.  We, by no means, are gentleman.  You could understand the "dancers" frustration when we began to pound our wooden instruments, strumming and stroking with a passionate release of musical awesomness.  My guess is we won't be playing there anytime soon.  Do you tip the bathroom attendant?

Colorado Springs: Wherein our Heroes Drink a Bottle of Jack Daniels and Share It With the Crowd

The DIY event center is a series of room carved out of a big warehouse space with a row of practice spaces connected to it. The building and area seem to be inhabited by a wide variety of punks with a rainbow of hair colors and glittering piercings everywhere you look. It feels comfortable. The denizens are shy at first (or maybe we are) but we quickly warm to each other over shared pulls from a variety of cheep whiskies int he parking lot. The venue does not have a liquor license but allows you to bring your own booze, so i guess it is BYOB and DIY. We bought the big bottle of whiskey so it would last us a few days.  It lasted until midnight.

Fort Collins: Wherein the Sanchez Family Reunion is Invented

It was a sticky Colorado afternoon as we drove up to Fort Collins in whatever vehicles we could find, and after borrowing whatever equipment we could as well. This is technically our tour kickoff but we haven't left the state yet so it doesn't feel quite "real", we are just going to our favorite place in FoCo, Surfside 7. Surfside is filled with the usual pack of miscreants when we arrive, and we immediately devour our pizza and beer allowance and are left to our own devices to continue drinking. Having no money and not being drunk enough to not walk leaves your brain in a very wandering mode.  Have you ever had a Sanchez family reunion?  No? Well we have and our mouths will never be the same.  Disgustingly appropriate to begin tour with an unforgiveable sin. Ten dollars to anyone who knows what a Sanchez Family Reunion is...